idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
