omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
