What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
