i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've blown a few things in my day
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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