I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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