sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
