Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
