when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
