Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
