ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
