I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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