His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
