these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
