he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
