fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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