hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
