you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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