DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Bring me that man meat
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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