I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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