is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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