Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
