I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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