the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
