I think I died a long time ago.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
