I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
