And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
