there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
