You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
