Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
