I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
