i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
