Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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