I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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