Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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