This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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