He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
