Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
