Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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