he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
