Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
