I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Who died my cat blue again?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
