so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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