Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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