She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
