My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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