My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
