What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
