whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
