Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
