Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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