seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Less talking, more tequila
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
