I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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