i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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