I wish my penis had an off switch
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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