Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
