i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
